i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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