drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize