I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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