We got so high we made milksteak
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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