Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
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I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How's work?
Spinning.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
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I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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