I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize