like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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