saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize