I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize