Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize