Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
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I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
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The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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