My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize