I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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