You work out of a Hotel?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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