member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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