did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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