thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize