I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize