shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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