We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize