Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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