first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize