so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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