Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize