he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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