so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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