Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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