I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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