Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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