i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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