I love black thongs
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
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Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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