Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
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We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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