don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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