i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize