i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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