I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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