I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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