Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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