It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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