Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize