Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We talked him into tasing himself.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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