Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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