even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize