Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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