don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
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Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We were destined to go to rehab together
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
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I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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