I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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