because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize