How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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