Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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