before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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